Stigmund

Now, where was I? Ah yes, Bolivia. I saw many weird and wonderfully awful things. I saw a boy throw a bag of urine out of a moving bus. And see it explode on impact. I saw a freshly dead cow’s head and hooves displayed daily at our local butcher’s (with the head scalped so you could see the brains inside). I saw myself actually getting on well with my nine housemates from Great Britain (it’s a good Britain- it’s not a great Britain). I saw, and managed to avoid, an oncoming truck beeping the crap out of the horn while I braked the frac out of my speeding bike at about 3,000 metres’ altitude descending the world’s most dangerous road. I saw communities that had no electricity, running water or roads- and proceeded to get violently ill. I saw a woman refuse to pick up her bawling four-year-old after he tripped on a step. ‘Cos that’s just the Andean way. I saw myself sitting on a toilet holding a basin in front of me praying the night would end.

YES, I KNOW THE WAY TO SAN JOSE

If I know you guys- which I don’t- you’re all dying to know the weirdest things about San Jose, Costa Rica- where I´m living now, you dolt. According to TV’s Bono, the weirdest thing about Costa Rica is that the streets have no name. Seriously. People’s addresses are like ‘400m east, 100m north of the pharmacy, house with the blue door’. People carry umbrellas all the time- to guard either from the sun or the rain- there’s always one. There is no informal use of the second person singular, which means you’re always in polite mode. Parents address their kids using the polite form; kids address their dogs using the polite form; and, presumably, those dogs use it with other dogs while they’re sniffing each other’s backsides. Plenty more to follow, I’d assume. A year is a long time, everyone’s been telling me.

WHY NOT?

If you don’t know them, you really should. Their name’s Why? And they’re an indie rock hip hop act. Please, please, please don’t think Limp Bizkit. Stop it. Please stop. Now. Their harmonies and lyrics alone disown them from whatever ‘genre’ Durst crawled out from underneath. I’ve only got Elephant Eyelash and Sanddollars, but plan to get more. You should too.

LAP IT UP

In the three minutes I was back in Dublin for, I managed to squeeze in a few movies. I will proceed to give you my unwanted opinions. Julie Delpy rewrote (the predictable but thoroughly enjoyable) Before Sunset and gave us Two Gays in Paris. The New York Post described it best as “a situation salad”. No real substance or flavour but enjoyable nonetheless. Hopes for a definite plot should be left outside. It would have been twice as good if it wasn´t a total rehash of good stuff that´s gone before.

Atonement was overrated. And I finally agree with all those girls who loathe Kiera “one face” Knightley.

Superbad wasn´t all that superbad. Or good, even. Thoroughly enjoyed it. I LOL´ d my pants to prove it. Here in Costa Rica, they´re calling it Supercool. Either they or I have completely missed the point of the original title.

OMGIMOTTYL!!!!1111one

In even further news, MySpace’s Lauren (from Houston, Texas) is going to Costa Rica in January and we’re planning to meet. I’ve met online people in real time before, but this would be a major step in my internet socialising/dating/rohypnol-planting escapades. With a bit of luck it’ll be a drunken disgrace of a night with plenty of RANDOMNEZZZZ LOLZZZZ 4 evaaaaaaaa!!!1111one!!! a la MySpace.

stigmund - a lesson in life

I’ve ditched my old life as a redundancy-inducing idiot for the life of some rock and/or roll socialite idiot. An update. Try keep up. 

REMEMBER, YOU CAN’T SPELL RELAXO WITHOUT RELAX!

I sang with a great group of lads called Funzo in a Battle of the Bands. We won of course and, as the prize, are now playing the main stage at Trinity Ball; supporting CSS, Ash and Hot Chip! Who saw that coming? We’re on at ten if any of yez are around and wanna j/cheer. I’m not sure how else we’re gonna differentiate between the sound check and the show. I’m so out of touch I’m Image-Googling some of the bands so I can get that special feeling when I spot them posing backstage; that feeling that they should know you ‘cos you know them. And you wanna spill your guts to them about why they’re so great and such. I hope the other artists don’t find that video of me.

OOOH TELL US MORE!

I got back last night from a work trip to Leuven, Belgium. That’s all there is to tell.

I’LL DO IT. I WILL, I’LL DO IT.

I saw Joanna Newsom play Dublin a while back. Stunning show. Stright to the Top 5. Feel free to keep on hating her though, if that’s your stance- I found this. She needs a swift kick in the eye. Only the eye though. I like her singing, songwriting and playing; nothing else.

YOU CAN’T MAKE ME REDUNDANT, I QUIT! 

Next month I, along with her and him, am quitting my job! But not before I go to France to see CocoRosie! Woop woop! They play La Cartonnerie, Reims, which, literally translated, means The Cardboardery or The Boxery. So hopefully we can visit some of the cultural centres there and learn more about Reims’ rich cardboard-box-making heritage.

After that it’s to Apolo, Bolivia (more info here) for some cross-cultural training and orientation before I embark on my thrilling two month stint of voluntary work in Sussex. Wait a minute- strike that. Reverse it.

I WAS DREAMING OF THE PAST

Things are up in the air right now but this superstar may have peaked and hit his Rishikesh phase way earlier than expected, because I may well be discovering myself (and Latin America) afterwards in Cuba for an (as yet undisclosed) amount of time.

Watch this space. If you dare. And other catchy soundbytes. Yum.

stigmund’s fine! He’s more worried about you!

I am in Copenhagen. Just to prove I’m not lying I will scream the following: ØååØøÅøÆæÆå! Where else would I get away with something as kerazy as that other than a Danish university library? I rest my flimsy case.

I’ve been to a fascinating little place called Christiania. While being very cool and left wing and hippyish and all of that, it does have that annoying little ‘Do What You Feel’ factor; as long as you’re going against The System, Christianians are right behind you. They’ve only been paying tax for 3 years but they’ve been happy to send their kids to Danish schools for the last 36 years. Same goes for refuse collection and water works. And the inhabitants, Christianians*, are those crusty little smelly types who tend to shuffle from place to place and never shave enough (women included) or pull up their sleeves. In addition; while they contribute next to nothing by way of taxes and all of that, they don’t even allow photos within their borders. A nice touch. This didn’t stop me taking a photo of the ‘No Photos’ sign. Watch this space.

*I hear ‘Movementarians’ every time. “All aboard! Last call for Blisstonia!” 

POINTLESS INTERNET STUFF YOU ALL ALREADY KNOW ABOUT

Moving on, Maddox’ April Fool’s was chuckleworthy as usual. A little note worth noting: I’ve stopped reading Mimi Smartypants. Dunno why. Guess I just stopped caring. And is it just me or is The Onion getting better and better?

And something I know you’re all nattering about: Chelsea and United through to the semis! Wow! A 7-1 and a 90th minute winner! Hoowee! I’ll see *you* in the comment box for more!

stigmund bitter? No, he just loves to complain

STIGMUND’S CALENDAR FOR THE NEXT 12 MONTHS, BY BABETTE

March – go to party re: Bonzo

April – work, cruise around listenin’ to music too loud

May - prepare for trip to South America

June - go to South America

July – some life-changing experiences (some life-changing diaorrhea)

August – more stuff happens

September – feel weird cos you’re not going back to school. September’s always weird

October – start to need a proper coat going out

November – complain about Christmas coming earlier every year

December – worry about January

January – quite chilly now. Bit sad

February – little warmer. Some light rain. Glad January’s over

March – go to party re: Bonzo

please forgive stigmund, he knows not what he does