Shutup! You’re Only Discombobulating Me!

OFFICE OBSERVATIONS

Being a huge (obese, even) fan of The Office has enormous benefits outside of just watching, quoting and watching again. The irritating, tedious, unbearable, mundane and, yes, even the banal moments can become surreal Office DVD bonus deleted scenes.* Almost three months into my first office job I still find myself enjoying private smirks as my colleagues serve up some Office gold.

Employee 1 (foreign, with accent) wearing an hilarious combo of (a) off-white dinner jacket, (b) a wine and white striped casual shirt and (c) blood-red slacks: So, [employee name], what do you think? (gestures at clothes, stands proudly)

Employee 2: (Looks up from desk) Erm… Honestly?

Employee 1: (In that tension-inducing aggressive-through-humour tone) You know what? You Irish have no sense of style! Every time I buy something new it’s always the same, all the smart comments…

Later that day

Employee 1 (perched on Employee 3’s desk and speaking in a quiet tone, almost confiding) to 3: All the jokes I had to put up with today! You think I look the part, right?

Employee 3: No [employee name], yeah… I think you look very smart. You look very well.

Employee 1: Thank you, I knew you had taste. You’re a nice guy. Today. (Fakes a laugh and exits)

Employee 4: He looks like one of the Lyons Tea men!

Employee 3 laughs, along with everyone in earshot.

*As long as you’ve been a fan of the show before you’ve worked in one. Otherwise watching The Office causes you to become all irritable and grouchy like a baby with a soiled nappy, like my good friend Ann-Dee. He’s always soiling his nappy.

BEAUTIFUL AND MELLOW

M and I went to see Pinky in Anseo Monday night and boy was that a good idea. Before Monday I was an Anseo virgin so was delighted to find the atmosphere laid-back, the music at that perfect volume (i.e. you can hear yourself, your friends and the music perfectly- no effort necessary), and admission free. He’s a resident performer there and his set was divided 50/50 between performance of his own stuff and spinning a few CDs. His voice is so strikingly different and the CDs in his set were straight off my own shelf! I never thought I’d hear Arrow Through Me in town! I legged it to get the last bus just as that sassy brass tag was kicking in. Mm-mmm.

Did you guys know that this existed? Why did no-one tell me?!

Oh. How rude of me.

stigmund – Says It With Flowers

6 Responses to “Shutup! You’re Only Discombobulating Me!”

  1. bonzo says:

    offices are funny.

    a while back an email got sent around my office of a snake eating in a kangaroo. fantastic.

    one employee, on seeing it, screeched: “euww that’s disgusting!” and the sender replied, “no it’s not! it’s human nature!!”.

    it sure is….idiot.

  2. neuro-praxis says:

    LOOK AT THIS! THE STIGMUND HAS THE BLOG! I ONLY JUST ARRIVED AND IT IS ON THE COMPUTER!!!

    I LAUGH TIL I WEE!

  3. Zoomologist says:

    I’d just like to say, having spent the week in Scotland, that this blog is better than that whole country. In fact, if you removed those irritating man-dresses and then covered the whole country in jam, this blog would be superior.

    It is in fact, the best green-coloured Irish blog in the world. Take that Ms. B!

  4. debo says:

    aha…haha…tums up ovuh heuh

  5. […] 19 Dec 2005 Deep Cuts Posted by stigmund underUncategorized  […]

  6. rape says:

    rape…

    news…

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