Messages Of A Textually Explicit Nature II

CURRENTLY IN MY MOBILE PHONE INBOX:

Hey bastard. Your dad is actually someone else. Sorry I had to tell you this way.

I did. She found it and said it was “in the shitter”. So posh.

I’ve just eaten 9 Taxi bars. Fancy a chat?

It’s not the crime, it’s the attitude.

For a laugh: just seen GM’s photo in Spur’s Steak House Challenge with ‘FAIL’ written over it. Haha.

Who are you and where do you come from that you throw sandwiches out of windows?

I’d bloody love her to be widowed.

Don’t thank me, thank my speech writer, Richard Whitely.

You’ve really hit the mouse on the head with that one.

I’m vulnerable and honest with you and you start threatening assault. I’ve rung the police.

Just voicemail. Dickhead.

stigmund – Still A Boy

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