Thank You For This Bitter Knowledge


Yes, my little kitchen appliances, as of Monday night your beloved stigmund is an uncle (last Monday night, dolt). This means I get to make sleazy jokes, get drunk at family get-togethers and make awful speeches at weddings. And thrown in at no extra cost, a niece. While her chances of playing in the Premiership are somewhat diminished (now that she’s not a boy and all), I’m still looking forward to any influence I get to have on her. Good or bad. We’ve already brainwashed my little cousin DJ into calling every black artist Stevie Wonder and subsequently demanding to hear ‘Superstition’. With the increased responsibility of being an uncle, the possibilities are endless.

I realised during the week that the wonderful embee works in the same building as me. How thrilling! I could be passing her every day. She could even be that girl I tripped up in the canteen yesterday. Although it’s hard to tell from embee’s photos, this girl had so much coleslaw in her eyes.

Saturday will see the ten year anniversary of Robert Overcracker; the clever young man who, for charity, drove off the Niagara Falls ON A JET SKI. Unfortunately his parachute didn’t open. This weekend, why not drive off a great height to honour this hero.

Mr. Overcracker

Originally uploaded by stigmund.

stigmund don’t check for no superficial, it’s got to be beneficial

2 Responses to “Thank You For This Bitter Knowledge”

  1. Teragram says:

    I wonder if the bottom of Niagra falls is slowly filling up with the sh1t people throw themselves over in. And the idiots themselves.

  2. stigmund says:

    Only one way to find out.

    Where’s my jet ski?

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