Curiosity Killed In Brutal Cat Revenge Beatings

Having studied marketing for four years, I’ve put up with a lot of nonsense from misinformed, misguided, ignorant and silly marketing nay-sayers. (I’m still not used to the novelty of being able to say things like that. Ha. All idiots they were. Heehee.)

But the following is indeed some horrific marketing. Lap it up:

1. The infomercial. Possibly my least favourite form of marketing*. Get a load of this guy!

*Even the name has that notorious marketing jargon sound to it. It’s a commercial that gives you information. Get it? Eh? Eh? *nudge nudge* Eh? *nudge* Eh?

2. Anyone else hate the new LUAS campaign targeting jammy fare-dodgers? It would strike fear into the heart of the most faithful ticket-buyers. They’ve put these stickers at every stop saying:

“Wrong ticket. Wrong zone. Wrong age. Wrong day. Wrong direction. Wrong ID.

Pay the fare or pay the price. ”

Sheesh, you can be the wrong AGE for crying out loud!

Inspector: How old are you?
Stigmund: 22
Inspector: WRONG! Come with us please.
Stigmund: But surely it’s my ticket that doesn’t match my-
Inspector: Are you saying the ticket is wrong? There is no *way* you could be 22 with this ticket. Absolutely no way.

3. October saw the opening of Dundrum’s new cinema, the abysmally-titled ‘Movies @ Dundrum’. But check out their website: utter toilet.

I particularly like the picture of the (1981) mobile with the clever caption: “hello cinema!!” The double exclamation marks serve to double the excitement, don’t you know. And is it just me or do you imagine a child with special needs saying that when they pick up the phone?

Oh dear, the more I browse around it the more horrendous it becomes. Tackoriffic. I would stop but there’s so much more: half of the links don’t work! Hold your cursor over ‘Competitions’, ‘Downloads’ or ‘Kids Club’ and nothing happens! Same nonsense with all of their movie titles. The tab in the centre called ‘CINEMAS HOME’ (what does that mean?) takes you back to…why, it takes you back to the page you’re already on. Brilliant.

But my favourite part is how they call upcoming films “oncoming films”. EVERYBODY DOWN! IT’S A FILM!

WAITING FOR THE PRESENT TO PASS

I’m a little blue today. I don’t know exactly why yet. I have drawn some possible conclusions:

– the fact that the sky (and thus, of course, the sun) has been blocked by some impressively low-lying cloud all day. It’s been twilight all day.

– a heavy sort of tiredness. Not the kind you struggle with after one late night out and an early morning the next day, more like the week-long late nights.

– the news that Given may have picked up an injury in training today that will rule him out of Wednesday’s tie. It was Gary Doherty, by the way. If you’re going to the game, bring fruit.

That would be our best remaining player out. Never say ‘things can only get better’.

Oh, and I just looked outside: it’s now raining.

stigmund finds it hard to tell you ‘cos he finds it hard to take

One Response to “Curiosity Killed In Brutal Cat Revenge Beatings”

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