No One Cares at all if I’m Having a Ball

My dearest dangleberries,

I am four weeks away from GRADUATION! What a fabulous day it promises to be. On this momentous day I will:

1. “Chat” with lecturers
2. Eat triangular sandwiches with all their triangular goodness
3. Wear a cape (with or without the BatLogo, I haven’t decided)
4. Prove once and for all to my parents that I actually was studying, not running a brothel

SOME TITLE USING A PUN ON THE WORD ‘TEXTUAL’

I had always assumed that text smileys (such an horrific phrase) were identical worldwide. Either that or I’d never thought about it before. Check out these ones from Korea, kindly provided by furiousthinking’s very own Korean correspondent.

HAPPY ^^
It’s all about the eyebrows.

EMBARRASSED – -;
Here we see the two (Korean) eyes and, on the side of the head, a bead of sweat with another trickling down the cheek. Clearly some form of intensely shameful humiliation. The kind them Koreans enjoy best.

CONFUSED – –
The narrow eyes apparently have become even narrower.

CRYING TT
Doesn’t work as well here as in mobile text form. The two ‘T’s should be two horizontal straight lines as eyes, punctuated by two perfectly vertical streams of tears.

ANGRY – -^
I have no idea how that is represented here.

I HATE YOU! / I’M GOING TO KILL YOU! – -+
Here the ‘plus’ sign signifies an evil glint of intent in the texter’s eye. So Korean.

I CAN’T DO THIS! @_@
The sole contents of a text sent during a ‘Night Before Big Exam’ cramming session (aka ‘arsecramming’). Another favourite of mine.

BULLSHIT! / I TOTALLY DISAGREE WITH YOU! -.,-
Once again, we see the disbelieving, hence narrowed, eyes*. The full stop is, obviously, a nostril while the comma is a runny nostril. What the?! you may well ask. Because it’s funnier, replies our Korean correspondent. And he’s right.

*Hmm… we’ve yet to see them wide and naïve. Probably why all Asians are such good businessmen.

Staying with the textual theme (See! I have a theme!), I’ve racked my brains but I cannot find one possible market for an SMS Bible.

JOB SATISFACTION

In one of my more productive days at work I found this rip-roaringly funny comic strip rather rip-roaringly funny. Better get your hopes up.

The brilliant ‘What If?’ episode.

One day at a table quiz with the neurogimp and her zoomuffin a simple question on Vitamin B12 rendered us stultified. Well and truly stultified. This particular installment means I may never forget again. Ever.

HELP! I NEED ADVICE! HELP! NOT JUST ANY ADVICE!

I will be attending a Hallowe’en party Saturday night and am now in the midst of a costume-related dilemma. My first instincts were to go as an IRA…soldier? terrorist? guy. An IRA guy. Complete with balaclava and all. I just thought it’d be funny to go against the “I want to be able to look good in my costume” trend and also to be a very unfunny, unpopular character. (Just for Saturday night, of course, you cheeky fool.)

I’m sick of the “Oooh look at me! I’m Bob Marley! I’m a great songwriter AND I died young! Everyone loves me!”, or “I’m a devil-girl! That makes me badd and sexy!” type costumes. What is a devil-girl anyway?

Or the guy who dresses as Austin Powers: “SHAGADELIC BABY! Ohoho, what a hoot! GROOVY BABY! I’m Austin Powers and I’m going to recite the movie all night! YEAH, BABY, YEAH!” Pointless.

No, I think everyone will be won over my far superior ironic wit and balaclava-hid good looks. I’m also positive it’ll be a great way to meet new people: “Hey, check out IRA guy over here! Hoho! Excellent! You guys, with your kneecapping and fruitless robberies, you guys crack me up!”

Well, that’s what I thought until I talked to B. She reckons I should go as Frodo. Given that I have been christened ‘Frodo’ by a group of fair foreign friends (a clever double entendre relating to my battle to save Middle Earth and nothing to do with my hair), the idea does seem appealing.

Thing is, I need a cloak! By tomorrow night! Where does one buy a cloak? Or a blanket roughly the size of a cloak?

All this and more, after these short messages.

FURIOUSTHINKING’S LINK OF THE WEEK! (as voted by stigmund)

Head, shoulders, knees and toes. Needs sound.

stigmund – The Only One Who Really Knew You, At All

Leave a Reply