Customers Are Taking Too Many Free Napkins

Hello. I have stuff to say but not the energy to say it. I have only enough energy to copy-paste this conversation I had with the wonderful Babette over there in The France, as they say in French. (Maybe after I paste it I will have pumped myself with the enormous amount of energy required to write a real post on Stigmund.) We were both in work. We were both on MSN. It was destiny. She is almost as apathetic about her job as my lethargic self, so we do be having a lot to talk about.

Babette: Hihi, as the French say
Stigmund: Ha. The French. The dumbest of all the apes.
Babette: And the smelliest.
Babette: Garlic apes.
Babette: Alcohol-soaked, weed-smokin’ apes.
Stigmund: I’m eating Cadbury’s Roses. It’s Christmas.
Babette: Ah, I miss Christmas.
Babette: I mean Dublin.
Babette: I mean Cadbury’s.
Babette: I’m “dusting” in work
Babette: Translation: “wiping the cupboards with bits of toilet roll”
Babette: have completely given up working
Babette: now I just wipe toilet roll on things
Babette: I’m Wipey McWiperson
Stigmund: There’s a guy in my canteen who serves the food and he always chucks the food on the plate and then has to scoop out the spuds again from the stand to put BACK onto your plate.
Stigmund: His name’s Scoopy McPileOn. Maybe you guys could hook up.
Babette: Have you been updating your blog or making it more Boob-friendly?
Stigmund: Are you referring to yourself when you say BOOB? Sometimes this can become confusing.
Babette: Yes
Stigmund: Ok. Boob McWiperson.
Babette: Where were you when I was lookin for a name for my blog?
Babette: Asswiperson!
Stigmund: The name’s Boob McWiperson.
Babette: And always will be.
Stigmund: “But you can call me Booby”
Stigmund: “Friends call me Wipey”
Stigmund: and so on.
Stigmund: ‘Boob McWiperson – Sales Associate’
Babette: JUNIOR sales associate
Stigmund: Or just ‘Ms. McWiperson – Sales Ass.’
Babette: JUNIOR sales ass.
Stigmund: Haha, Wipey sales ass.
Stigmund: You sales ass you does.
Stigmund: Evenin all! Shoeshine guvnah? Asswipe?

stigmund apologises for any inconvenience

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