Stuck Inside These Four Walls

I’m back from gay Paris, I’m redundant and I honestly don’t know what all the fuss is about being unemployed. I think it gets a hell of a lot of bad press, but once you get into it, it really is quite fun: you get up when you want, you don’t shave, you wear clothes you wore the day before and you can catch up on that glut of DVDs you got for Christmas. You can also laugh at your friends and family if they’re getting stressed about work/being late for work/hating their work etc. There really isn’t a dull moment.

One negative thing I will say about redundancy/unemployment, however, is the social life. Maybe not the angle you’d expect here: the worst thing about this is being invited to things that you’ve absolutely no desire to go to and then having no excuse. Everyone knows you’re unemployed as hell and loving it, so when they see you stall at an invite they just know.

And that, my friends, is no fun. I ended up at the worst birthday party ever last Saturday night as a result. It was so dull everyone ended up just watching DVDs for cryin’ out loud! And I think the strongest substance consumed was an Aspirin for some poor sap probably just hoping it’d take her somewhere- anywhere but this party. Man, it sucked. The identity of the birthday chump shall forever remain a secret. Between myself and the three other guests that turned up. THREE!

STIGMUND’S TOP 4 SEARCH STRINGS FOR FURIOUSTHINKING

In order of preference now, not the most common, I assure you.

Straight in at Number 4: “Dressing worldview in france”. What? Who talks about that kind of stuff here? That’s the kind of nonsense you’d expect over at Babette’s, but not *here*. Dispicable. And I like it.

Number 3 is quite specific: “Genuine belgian waffle recipe research”. *Genuine* research now, not somebody faking a whole load of waffle recipe research so as to appear cool in front of colleagues at their new workplace. Zoomy, I’m guessing you’re responsible for this one… And yet, as I read through his months of his archives (as I do most nights), I discover he has never once provided a recipe, let alone some *genuine research*. Please rectify.

This month’s Number 2 depresses me a little: “In style running shoes”. There’s something very sad and rather bleak about someone Googling that phrase. In January. Worded like that: “in style”. My dear pathetic reader, I sincerely hope you found what you were looking for. Well, obviously not- they found a bunch of Christian nerds. Oh dear. I think that’s the saddest thing I’ve heard all week.

And this week’s non-mover at Number 1: “What happened to caoimheb”. Also in this series: ‘CaoimheB goes to Jail’; ‘CaoimheB loses a kidney’ and ‘Nothing Happened to CaoimheB- She’s Always Been Like That’.

To be honest, I’ve no idea what happened to the second-best green blog in Ireland. Looks like she just couldn’t handle the inferiority that must weigh down on all bl*ggers with the same colour b**g as me. Whatever it is she’s done, it should not be viewed in the office. Some people have the strangest new year’s resolutions.

HOW LOW CAN YOU GO?

The powers that be at FuriousThinking have kindly set up a ‘Now Reading’ plugin for my site, but I’m not sure if it’s lowbrow enough for me to use. I mean, it’s *reading*. Reading books! I’d be more comfortable with a ‘Now Listening’ one for the CDs or DVDs I’m consuming that week; or even a ‘Now Consuming Direct From Original Container’ plugin, where I get to link to Tesco cereals and Lidl spirits.

stigmund – Layin’ On His Back, Like A Freight Train Off A Track

3 Responses to “Stuck Inside These Four Walls”

  1. Angry says:

    Hey – I have the foremost grey-blue blog in Ireland, and I didn’t even get a mention! All I get is spam (to my blog mirror).

    Good job I got myself this handy SHOTGUN!

  2. Caoimheb says:

    I think a more interesting question is how on earth caoimheb can be nominated for a blog award when her blog is dead? Fascinating?!?

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