Post #35

Today’s title is inspired by the lack of inspiration I’ve had blog-wise recently. I am home sick with influenza. She’s my new Spanish flatmate. She’s pretty cool, I guess. Except for all the snotrags she insists on leaving around the place. And the punching she keeps giving to my head- it’s giving me a headache.

TIP OF THE WEEK

Guys who say “‘cos I’m just that kind of guy!” are never that kind of guy.

BLOODY STUPID

So, blood donation Wednesday. Everything was going fine, as things tend to go at the Blood Clinic*, until I asked about my blood pressure and the nurse explained that the doctor had read it from “the telescope he had round his neck”. I just looked at my arm and thought, “of all the people on this planet, I got you to shove a needle in my arm.”

*Why are things always so dandy at The Clinic? Because it- no, wait. That should be their tagline actually. Forget “Bring someone back from the dead” or whatever their current slogan is; my one works. With ads showing nurses robot-dancing, patients singing and blood spurting in time to Daft Punk’s ‘Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger’, the donors would be flying in. Anyway, everyone there always seems to be in such good humour. They all want to be there. After another great experience at The Blood Clinic I can confirm it as one of my Top 10 hang-out joints in Dublin.

INTERLUDE

Let’s face it, it’s true.

WHAT I DON’T KNOW COULD FILL A WAREHOUSE

Bonzo (who will have a blog soon- he just doesn’t know it yet. Bonzo, get a blog. Ok, now he knows) and I went to see Syriana Friday. And afterwards, we nominated Zoomtard to do a brief 100-word summary of the whole movie; including plot, political background to each plot and character and, to conclude, a short piece on how George Clooney has become the hippest guy in Hollywood with his last two movies (with appendices, if necessary). After reading his summary, hopefully I’ll be slightly less of a dolt about the information required to fully appreciate the film second time round.

stigmund has disproportionately short arms and legs

7 Responses to “Post #35”

  1. James Hackett says:

    Get a blog, get a life. It’s true. 97% of web loggers have lives. Do you not find it annoying that since you started this blog, everyone wants to have one? I had to give in to the pressure myself, just as bonzo will, because of being SOCIALLY ostricised due to not being like Stig. Next thing you know they’ll want to chop a bit off my arms and legs too.

  2. Babette says:

    Get well soon, ya nutcase!
    You too, Stig. Funny, when you say “snotrags”, I read “snotrages”, and TOTALLY know what you mean.

  3. McShit says:

    Sloganize Stigmund gives:

    “Stigmund: The Other White Meat”
    “Only a Fool Breaks the Stigmund”

    or my personal favourite:

    “Vorsprung Durch Stigmund”

    What a great invention.

  4. stigmund says:

    Good job, young Hackmeister; always glad to inspire my readers. So where is this new b**g whipping up a frenzy ar an Wheb?

    Ah good ol’ McShit: another satisfied customer.

    “Only Stigmund really satisfies.”

  5. O.G says:

    So, what’s an elf then?

  6. Deirdre says:

    “Bonzo” never learned to read – I think you co-ercing him into ‘writing’ a blog could end very awkwardly for you and him both.

    Bonzo! If you’re reading thi…ah who am I kidding.

  7. embee says:

    Yo,

    You stopped mailing me, much to my horror and sadness.

    I was so distraught, I had a baby on the 11th of February.

    Thought you’d like to knoe!

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