Archive for April, 2006

Messages of a Textually Explicit Nature VI

Monday, April 3rd, 2006

CURRENTLY IN MY MOBILE PHONE INBOX:

Generic birthday greetings, pixelated birthday cake message etc. to you [FRIEND]! Have a good one! You’re so [OLD]! : D Don’t get too [DRUNK]! : D

Oh, I see what you mean about the twitching and the sweating.

YOU are so gay… Sorry it took me so long to think of a swift reply.

It’s what boyos say for ‘see you later’. You know like on the bus, “slaaaw”… Usually said through the nose.

Good grammar is frowned upon on MySpace.

Have been asked out 16 times this morning by random women (and 3 men) walking past me on the street. Therefore, I conclude, the T-shirt is a success! Thanks!

Gift.

Damn it, I’ve enabled comments for just any old fool and now people like you can get their revenge on me by littering my site with irrelevant remarks.

Bullying territory?

I’m responsible for training in the new girl. Imagine teaching quantum physics to a boiled egg. You’re feeling a fraction of my pain.

Fag!

If you are still unemployed when we arrive you could be our private tour guide. We’d pay 1 euro an hour- 2 wearing the dirndl.

Well maybe I’ll just try listening next time.

stigmund was just following orders

For the Roses

Sunday, April 2nd, 2006

THIS JUST IN

Some of you have been asking why I don’t spend more of my blogging time commenting on politics and current affairs and, of course, all that ‘hot celeb goss’. Yes, news is all very well but what does Stigmund have to say about this carry-on? they say. Well then, you news-lovin’ crumbums, this next bit’s for you. I don’t plan on making this a regular feature by any means. Like that wiley young Log character, I don’t believe b**ggers should bother giving their own ‘take’ or ‘twist’ on news events. Pointless.

The root of The Problem in France (well, the most recently publicised one) at the moment is the same as all the other problems with which France struggles. There is no word in French for ‘apologise’. Fact.

Eidos Interactive, one of the world’s leading publishers and developers of entertainment products, today predicted that Angelina Jolie’s next installment will be more popular and news-worthy than all previous endeavours and that Womb Raider would be released in the coming weeks.

MOOVEEZ

If you go see Transamerica don’t laugh at the poignant parts- there might just be more going on here than the jaded, ‘dysfunctional family round the table’ rigmarole. If you’re too much of an assbutt to notice these things and want to see it because you think it’ll be ‘a bit of a laugh’ please don’t. Nice one. I am slightly tempted to go see Failure to Launch, just to finally push me over the edge and put an end to procrastination on my number 1 life ambition: to find Matthew McConaughey and kick him in the shins. I think this film could well provide enough fuel for the fire. Add Sarah “typecast” Parker talking about shoes and I might just throw in a Chinese burn.

Any takers?

stigmund
– Goin’ In An’ Out Of Style