Messages of a Textually Explicit Nature VI

CURRENTLY IN MY MOBILE PHONE INBOX:

Generic birthday greetings, pixelated birthday cake message etc. to you [FRIEND]! Have a good one! You’re so [OLD]! : D Don’t get too [DRUNK]! : D

Oh, I see what you mean about the twitching and the sweating.

YOU are so gay… Sorry it took me so long to think of a swift reply.

It’s what boyos say for ‘see you later’. You know like on the bus, “slaaaw”… Usually said through the nose.

Good grammar is frowned upon on MySpace.

Have been asked out 16 times this morning by random women (and 3 men) walking past me on the street. Therefore, I conclude, the T-shirt is a success! Thanks!

Gift.

Damn it, I’ve enabled comments for just any old fool and now people like you can get their revenge on me by littering my site with irrelevant remarks.

Bullying territory?

I’m responsible for training in the new girl. Imagine teaching quantum physics to a boiled egg. You’re feeling a fraction of my pain.

Fag!

If you are still unemployed when we arrive you could be our private tour guide. We’d pay 1 euro an hour- 2 wearing the dirndl.

Well maybe I’ll just try listening next time.

stigmund was just following orders

3 Responses to “Messages of a Textually Explicit Nature VI”

  1. anonymouse says:

    I will pay you half of everything I earn if you will wear the dirndl.

  2. O.G says:

    Matthew McConaughey is in my favourite fillem of all time and I will not have his name thrown around in such an uncouth, nay, philistinian fashion. Leave his shins alone and instead look to where the problem originated originally.
    You see it’s not really about Matthew, is it?

  3. stigmund says:

    *kicks OG in the shins and runs away*

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