And You Sleep While I Write All This Down

Now, where was I? Ah yes, Bolivia. I saw many weird and wonderfully awful things. I saw a boy throw a bag of urine out of a moving bus. And see it explode on impact. I saw a freshly dead cow’s head and hooves displayed daily at our local butcher’s (with the head scalped so you could see the brains inside). I saw myself actually getting on well with my nine housemates from Great Britain (it’s a good Britain- it’s not a great Britain). I saw, and managed to avoid, an oncoming truck beeping the crap out of the horn while I braked the frac out of my speeding bike at about 3,000 metres’ altitude descending the world’s most dangerous road. I saw communities that had no electricity, running water or roads- and proceeded to get violently ill. I saw a woman refuse to pick up her bawling four-year-old after he tripped on a step. ‘Cos that’s just the Andean way. I saw myself sitting on a toilet holding a basin in front of me praying the night would end.

YES, I KNOW THE WAY TO SAN JOSE

If I know you guys- which I don’t- you’re all dying to know the weirdest things about San Jose, Costa Rica- where I’m living now, you dolt. According to TV’s Bono, the weirdest thing about Costa Rica is that the streets have no name. Seriously. People’s addresses are like ‘400m east, 100m north of the pharmacy, house with the blue door’. People carry umbrellas all the time- to guard either from the sun or the rain- there’s always one. There is no informal use of the second person singular, which means you’re always in polite mode. Parents address their kids using the polite form; kids address their dogs using the polite form; and, presumably, those dogs use it with other dogs while they’re sniffing each other’s backsides. Plenty more to follow, I’d assume. A year is a long time, everyone’s been telling me.

WHY NOT?

If you don’t know them, you really should. Their name’s Why? And they’re an indie rock hip hop act. Please, please, please don’t think Limp Bizkit. Stop it. Please stop. Now. Their harmonies and lyrics alone disown them from whatever ‘genre’ Durst crawled out from underneath. I’ve only got Elephant Eyelash and Sanddollars, but plan to get more. You should too.

LAP IT UP

In the three minutes I was back in Dublin for, I managed to squeeze in a few movies. I will proceed to give you my unwanted opinions. Julie Delpy rewrote (the predictable but thoroughly enjoyable) Before Sunset and gave us Two Gays in Paris. The New York Post described it best as “a situation salad”. No real substance or flavour but enjoyable nonetheless. Hopes for a definite plot should be left outside. It would have been twice as good if it wasn’t a total rehash of good stuff tha’s gone before.

Atonement was overrated. And I finally agree with all those girls who loathe Kiera “one face” Knightley.

Superbad wasn’t all that superbad. Or good, even. Thoroughly enjoyed it. I LOL’ d my pants to prove it. Here in Costa Rica, they’re calling it Supercool. Either they or I have completely missed the point of the original title.

OMGIMOTTYL!!!!1111one

In even further news, MySpace’s Lauren (from Houston, Texas) is going to Costa Rica in January and we’re planning to meet. I’ve met online people in real time before, but this would be a major step in my internet socialising/dating/rohypnol-planting escapades. With a bit of luck it’ll be a drunken disgrace of a night with plenty of RANDOMNEZZZZ LOLZZZZ 4 evaaaaaaaa!!!1111one!!! a la MySpace.

stigmund – a lesson in life

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